Ceiling Fan....or Vortex?

Hey!!! You!!! You ever install a ceiling fan in the middle of your living room floor and then turn it on and try vacuuming at the same time? Well, I did and I think I created some kind of vortex because dead people and wizards keep appearing in my apartment and I didn't order any. Can someone please tell Jacques Cousteau that I don't want to visit the bottom of the sea any time soon and that if Sammy Davis Jr doesn't stop tap dancing in my bathroom that I'm going to kill him even though he's already dead. And why do these f-in wizards use so much toilet paper!!!! These guys are going through a roll + a day. Isn't that why they wear robes? Is that why their beards are white. I'm fed up with this sh*t. Stupid vortex.